Here I am. Twice born Teresa Schurter — wanna-be artist & designer, wife of 31 years, mother of six, a gimpy, home-bound, techno-phobe, and I’m writing a blog on the internet. I’d rather be painting and talking to myself, it’s a lot less scary, I tell you no lie.
If I hadn’t been challenged to do this, it would never have happened. It’s not that I can’t write down my thoughts. I do it all the time. Then I promptly loose the notebooks. I’ve even dreamed of publishing them at some distantly future date or time, when I find them.
No, It’s not the writing, or coming up with something to say- some days my thoughts just spew out like a broken pipeline.
Creativity isn’t even that scary, although I do believe, as I’ve heard it said by Donna on one of B’Sue Boutique’s YouTube videos that “creativity takes courage”. I grew up surrounded by creative people, my grandmother’s were very creative, and my twin sister is a gifted appliqué quilter.
I’m even fairly creative. I’m a moderate whiz at sewing. I look at costumes in the movies and can duplicate most of them. Give me some paint or wire and polymer clay and watch out! As for writing, I even think that some of what I’m writing may be worth reading. But – actually putting thoughts out there for God and everyone to see! Well, this is taking courage folks, a courage I don’t think I have in and of myself. In fact, if it weren’t for my husband Roger, my absolute rock, I’d have given up two hours ago and started selling all of my art supplies and this computer!
Roger, as always, calmed me down & after some scattered prayer thoughts (I was too upset to really pray for help.) I remembered something vital – I fully believe that I can do anything, within reason, because “I can do all things through Him….”.
Now, usually, that means I take on tasks that aren’t reasonable “under the circumstances,” or “in this situation.” Facing reality isn’t my strong point, I’m very determined to overcome “MY” reality. Sometimes I “blame” that attitude on the verse , but maybe blame is the wrong word (At times it is just delusional behavior.). When I’m doing something really stupid I know I’m kind of taking that real encouragement out of context. Today, it’s just what I need.
I think that the intention of that verse is that we can withstand anything that comes our way. We can face trials, deal with disappointments, face difficult situations, carry on in adversity and accomplish tasks that seem beyond our abilities. In short, I can face the challenges of life with the strength that comes from the Lord. I CAN do that, YOU can do that, it just takes a very little bit of faith.
What I can’t do today, what I desperately need help with,… I just can’t face my computers. In my heart I know– “Technology” is wicked, plain and simple. Why? Because “I Can’t Do It!” – “I Don’t Get It,” and “It Just Does Not Work for ME!” So it must be in the realm of “The Evil One.” On top of that, when I need it the most, technological marvels, in the guise of my new great computer, let me down, badly.
This blog is my case in point. Well, actually, THE POINT starts with my new computer; the “Better than It was Before, Stronger, Faster…” The one that wouldn’t give me my email anymore. Soooo, I asked my darling Roger to make the problem “go away” so that I didn’t have to “deal with stuff that didn’t make sense and was slowing everything down.”
I really needed to get some work done, I wanted to start this blog and get to work on my designs and construction. Since I am kind of OCD about a lot of stuff & he is so supporting of all that I try to do, he did a few things that would switch the system back over to my “old way” and hide that new stuff that I was upset about. Now, it’s all hidden!
NO cheering please. The badies are gone, pouff, you can’t see them… And so are almost all my notes, my documents, downloads, plans, ideas, messages and basically all the work I’ve done for the last two months. For some odd reason, known only to the gremlins in the computer, all of my “stuff” from November until Jan. 5th is hiding. Roger (a Component Test Engineer) & our newly minted Information System’s Manager, my oldest daughter Marie (December Graduate Cum Laude with a BA in Management & Information Systems Management), have spent almost a dozen hours together now restoring the inner workings of my mind that I entrusted to the beast.
They assure me it’s all there, we just can’t see it. Kind of like the 45 mph winds we’re having today. It’s there, but I can’t see it. However, the effects are pretty debilitating. Sub-Zero wind chill factors –all my brain waves are frozen-, branches and debris blowing around –a bazillion thoughts of what I should do-, roads closed because cars are blowing off the road –my momentum has been derailed-, and all the other nastiness of a bitterly cold winter wind-storm on the prairie –or the otherwise dark days of no computer data-. You can’t see what’s causing the damage, but the effects are felt deep down in your bones.
For hours I stared at this thing in tears. I couldn’t think of one solitary word to write. I couldn’t remember anything I’d typed up and saved. I got out my sketch pad and couldn’t draw a line. When I finally got up the courage and opened a document to get started the exception to my brain fog was what many think is that overly used verse– “I CAN do ALL things,” and also another one of my life verses, ending in “What can Mere Man do to Me?” Obviously it was a mathematical man who started the technological world!
So, I wonder, can a technologically illiterate, OCD type artist who also struggles with physical disabilities, write and maintain a blog. My family and my mentors say yes. Can I come up with designs that are “me” and have marketable value. Roger says yes, my kids and family do too, and so do many others who have blessed my life. That should be enough encouragement for anyone. Most artists have to struggle to find one blessing of encouragement.
I hope and pray that you can see the “Trezur” I gained today. It’s an old pearl. I think it’s a renewal of the knowledge that I already had. Don’t panic about yesterday’s mistakes and losses. The strength is there where we are the weakest, so go ahead,
I mean YOU go forward –> –> –> .
No, I still don’t have all my documents restored, but there are millions more ideas where those came from. He designed and created a world full of infinite variety, even in the snowflakes that blow away and melt in a moment. He can give me a few more. And all is not lost, I do remember one thought I had, I don’t know if it’s original with me or not, but here it is.
I was Created for a Purpose – And I will Purpose to be Creative.
I’m not sure what you’ll see in my box of treasure. But my hope has been renewed, even though I’ve had what I think of as another little “kick in the face.” Someday I’ll share with you a few of my missing teeth.
More importantly though, these are two last things I want to share with you today,
My Greatest Blessings are Roger and six of our collaborative creations! Marie, Anna, Samuel, Isaac, Josiah & Titus. My husband and our children.
Some of the pictures are older, and some are more recent, so you’ve seen some them in their Hobbit costumes, and others are all grown up, actually they all are now. That’s why I’m starting this next phase in my creative life.
And after all of this serious thought I wanted to share a funny and very apropos quote that made me laugh out loud. I was looking up some definitions on Wikipedia and followed a couple of bunny trails, ending with the history of Murphy’s law. The “Law” has been a quoted truism for centuries, a published fact for over a century, and attributed to many authors, since the 1870s, but a stage magician in 1908 say’s it best for me, since in my mind he truly understands modern inventions-
The British stage magician Nevil Maskelyne wrote in 1908: (emphasis and underlines are mine)
It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect … in public, (or writing your first blog), everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains.
Take heart! Things go wrong, so laugh at it all, it’s just going to be wood, hay and stubble anyhow, so think on the things that truly matter.
You Are going to MAKE it!